Hollywood assault on global warming
Excitement is growing in the Australian Pastafarian community with this week's release of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Devout Pastafarians - easily recognised by our eye-patches, swords and gratuitous use of "aarrrr" in conversation - know that pirates are central to a rational understanding of the greatest threat to our environment. Or, rather, it is the sad lack of pirates that is to blame for the steady rise in global temperatures.
FSM scholars have documented the fact that global warming and associated calamities of the natural world are a direct result of the decline in the numbers of pirates since the 1800s.
So anything that raises the profile of pirates in the 21st century - indeed, anything that promotes the pirate lifestyle - can only be good for our blighted planet.
In fact, the very existence of such a pirate movie at this critical juncture may be part of His creamy, delicious plan. Consider this: the character of Captain Jack is clearly a disguised reference to His Noodlyness. All those chaotic dreadlocks bear more than a passing resemblance to His Appendages. Bobbing dreadlocks -- squiggly noodles, the one evokes images of the other (albeit with allowance for differences in personal hygeine).
I have two theories as to how this pleasing resonance came about in the movie:
(1) Johnny Depp is a secret acolyte of Pastafarianism, or
(2) The Flying Spaghetti Monster nudged the talented chap to choose dreadlocks for his character, to give us another Sign.
Perhaps the faithful can take this Sign as a topic for Study and Reflection and let us know your thoughts?
I think you will agree only the irrational would argue there is no connection.